I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Still dying that you shit outside
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
