We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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