google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
