12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
