dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
