Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you win again, gameday.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize