If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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