I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
