apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
