D3 body, D1 cock
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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