you guys were way drunker than both of me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize