So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is Oprah even human
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
