She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dicks are not precious.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
