everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
