Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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