can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
