I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize