I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
