Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
