you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
