I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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