that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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