It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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