me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize