Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
