I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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