Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
