How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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