im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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