he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
