i think i have herpe
just one?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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