and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
