pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
