its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
