please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
PS: I just woke up from my shower
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
