Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
