if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
