I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
