Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
