I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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