is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
