its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize