I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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