I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
