great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
