Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
