Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
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