I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Drake has all the answers
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
