well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
