Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
