is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
