Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
