so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
