Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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