so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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