I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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