it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
