My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
