using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
