So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize