Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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