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• (734): View more from Michigan

  i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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• (213): View more from California

  She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose

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• (631): View more from New York

  Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.

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