If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
