THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
