I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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